Unfortunately for me, in the long run his feelings were not the same, Almost exactly six months from that great day, he broke it all off. A week ago. He wasn't sure that if all he had told me was even true. He wasn't sure of anything at all.
Every time he would say something of that sort, my heart was broken just a little bit more. By the end of our talk.. his only solution was to break everything off. To not see me, not to talk to me, nothing. That's what he wanted. He told me that this isn't going to hurt as much.. Was he ever wrong.. My heart has never hurt so much.
And it was all because I had loved him too much, I guess.
It hurt to know that the one person i trusted fully and loved ( don't get me worn.. I still do love him) Just said to me that everything he had told me in the past couple of month may not have been true. the hardest thing was the next day when every single member of my extended family asks "where is Tanner?" And I had to try and fight back the tears so I could tell them why he wouldn't be spending the day with us.
This past week, although I have been trying to keep busy and put a smile on has been one of the hardest. Luckily I am blessed with amazing family who has shown their love for me, Friend who have reached out their arms towards me and been there when I needed them most.
I love him and I will for a very long time.
Maybe that's foolish of me, I don't know.
But what I do know is that I hope and pray that maybe one day he will want to talk to me, And will want to see me, and will want to try. Until then I hope you are doing well and I hope you're happy.
I miss you. And think about you all the time.
No comments:
Post a Comment